Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
