Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
