we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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