Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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