none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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