just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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