Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
