Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
