my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
