Screwed.edu
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
