Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
