ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
