Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
