i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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