I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
