giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
