Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
