Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
