Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
