nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
