I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
