What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
