Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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