Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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