I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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