this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
