found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
