my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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