in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
