I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
