ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
