Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
