Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
