just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We need to get me chipped asap
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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