You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can Purell be used as lube?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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