so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
