What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
