Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
