Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
