it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
