i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
