I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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