Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
