can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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