He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize