I am in a vortex of obligation.
it hurts more in the daytime
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
