she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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