Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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