I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
