we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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