plz talk dirty to me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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