Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
