i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
