She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
