brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
